From coyness to cussing, after two years of love, laughs, support, inspiration, comfort, closeness, satisfaction and nurturing to here, now, this very moment of free falling- where the chattering drowned, earth stopped moving and the time stood still- when I heard those six words, in that exact same order, that every person in a relationship dreads, “I AM BREAKING UP WITH YOU.”
I walked out of the Café Coffee Day, acquiring something that I could never achieve through my meditation of about a year- Complete Mind-Blanking. As I started to walk my way back to the hostel, it began to pour down with rain.
Without an umbrella, without a raincoat, without any thoughts in mind, I walked and kept on walking; without taking turns, without waiting for signals, without minding for the traffic, I walked and kept on walking, until I felt a clasp of hand around my wrist, Where was I? What place was this? How did I end up here? When did it start raining? all these questions ran through my mind as I looked up to see the wall of a temple standing before me and turned around to see the guy standing behind me whose fingernails were now digging in my arms.
“Where do you plan on reaching after going through the wall- Narnia?” he asked as he held the umbrella above my head. I realized that I had been walking for quite a long time and had reached a point where there was no front passage anymore, just a wall ahead- It was a dead end. I shook my hand out of his clasp and exclaimed, “Don’t judge me, you don’t know me.” He smiled, stepped back after handing me the umbrella, and said, “You really shouldn’t be in this neighborhood at this time of the day, it’s not safe. Come I’ll give you a ride back home.” “No I can trace my way back to the hostel. Thank you,” I exclaimed.
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“Oh really, so you know the neighborhood I guess. Ok so why don’t you just let me know your plan, how will you reach home, which path you will take and I will be on my way,” he said leaning on his car.
I looked at this tall, dark complexion guy, dressed formally with hands in his pocket, getting drenched in the rain with a shimmer in his eyes, awaiting my reply. “I am not entering your car,” I said with a little apprehension. He locked his car, put his key in his pocket, walked near me, signaled me to walk ahead and asked me where I lived.
We started chatting as we walked down the road in this pouring rain. From formal introductions to sharing our present situations, we came at the gate of my hostel. The Rain had reduced to a drizzle now. Bidding farewell he said “Tomar sathe dekha kore bhalo laglo (Well it was nice meeting you) miss…” “Divyangna,” I said. He nodded in agreement. We exchanged numbers as we parted ways and three years later got married in the same temple we had first met.
Reminiscing about that day’s events, I can rightly summarize my experience with the quote of famous poet, Rabindranath Tagore, “Clouds had come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.”